Empty hands

' First, I took first '...
Mama held my hands high and swayed my report sheet like a duck gracefully glides on water

I barged into his corner but he was not there...

I stared at his portrait . His fine stub and clean shave spat his several lessons on cleanliness on my slate
My twin  tower of my pride and confidence diametrically  caved

My sophomore years were years alone
I watched men hunched by their kids
I searched right and left in hope of his blazing white collar that echoes his amiable presence.
But  Mama filled both parts.
She joggled her work shifts and the need to care for me.

Sometimes , I look out  and spoke to his absence; create his effigy:
I draw his own very frame , plant him a moustache and redress his stubs.
I wanted him to come and speak those words fathers speak to their sons.
Words that convey maps, the shape of stars and the linings of the galaxies to the ecstasy of a curious boy.

And now I became a man.
Never had the privilege of cuddling him.
Have him pat my back when I excel in my class,
Or have him cheer me up when I fall in the attempt to scale the hurdles of life...

On this very day I wanted to ask him all the questions in my heart;
He already kicked the bucket.
Tom👻